A PRAYER FROM THE HEART

Dear Heavenly Father......
Where do I begin? I am sooooo overwhelmed by how good you are to me and yet I fret and worry about how it will all happen. You are so deserving of all I have and yet I know that isn't even good enough. Yet you tell us in your word, you love us and accept our humble offerings.
Oh, how I wish so desperately I could be in your throne room. To lay at your feet and look up into your forgiving eyes and see my reflection there. To finally see myself as you do without blemish because I have professed my acceptance and devotion to Jesus. How I long for my earthly fears of rejection to disappear. To just be able to be in your presence and BE! To hear your invitation to come sit on your lap. To find myself there. To feel and be surrounded by your loving arms. To feel safe and not have to worry about anything anymore. All the "what if's" -GONE, all the family bickering and misunderstandings- GONE, all the hurts that linger near by- GONE. To hear your voice and feel peace. To experience your love just by being in your presence! To be with my daddy.
Lord help me to see the world thru your eyes. Let me be a part of changing it for you. Give me strength to stand up and make a difference. Let me love.
Lord I thank you so very much for calling us to adopt Jonas. For first calling the Cundiffs. That they were obedient to your calling, thus paving the way for our journey.What a journey so far. At times I feel so inadequate, but rely on your word to fill in the gaps. You tell us you have already given us all we need. We just have to have faith.
Oh Lord, I am embarrassed to admit that at times my faith wavers. But knowing how you told us about doubting Thomas in the BIBLE, you understand us humans you created. Help me Lord in my unbelief. Give me courage to know that you know Todd needs a job, that we still need to raise more money for Jonas. And courage to believe your word that you will be faithful to complete this journey you have called us on!
I praise you and thank you for our family and friends who have been so supportive in all this. I am not foolish enough to think that they all understand this 'madness' in their minds, 'blessing' in ours. But I understand you called US, not them. I pray that even now you would speak to those who doubt that this is your will for our lives and family. I pray with time your call for action and love we show will be what they see. I am grateful for those who didn't at first understand, but stood beside us in love in spite of their uncertainty. You say blessed are those who believe who don't see but still believe.
I thank you for all you have accomplished in our lives. I pray that my ears will continue to stay open to hear you. PLEASE enable me to hear your sweet life giving words. Place a insatiable desire in my heart for you and your word!Give me wisdom beyond what even I thought I knew. Bless me indeed and broaden my territory.
Words can never begin to thank you enough for Jonas. I had really started to believe satan's lies that I would never have a son. And yet I still hoped. He is beautiful beyond anything I could have ever hoped for or asked for! I am humbled by your goodness to me and Todd. Thank you for blessing us with a son! I will raise him in your ways Lord. I pray even now for his salvation. That he would come to know you as his personal savior at a young age. That you would use him for your kingdom. That you would use us, even after the adoption, in Haiti.
Bless his birthmom for her sacrifice! Watch over her and his sisters. And keep them safe till Jonas can be reunited with them someday. Give her peace and speak to her spirit that he will be loved and cared for with our family!
And dear Lord for the rest of those precious children in the orphanage.....please let them find their families, or rather bring their families to them! I hear there is a LOT of political unrest in Haiti right now, AGAIN. Please I beg you to keep our children safe and protected. Send your angels to guard over the orphanage and be vigilant in doing so. Make all the adoptions in progress go so smoothly that all involved would be in awe of your mighty hand!
And Lord if I dare to ask....PLEASE let Todd find a job this week. I have done all I can till now with the paperwork for the adoption. Now all I wait on is Todd's employment verification. Please bless the steps already done and those still needing to be done. Let our process be speedy and bring Jonas home sooner rather than later. Go before every piece of paper and letter that needs to be reviewed. Who ever sees it that you would let us find favor in their eyes and they would be compelled to do all they can to help with this adoption of Jonas.
Lord, a selfish request, please bring Jonas home by Christmas. Your son was born then and I want my son home too! I miss how it feels to hold him. To feel his scratchy hair against my cheek. His sweet breathing as he sleeps, his AMAZING laugh and happy spirit he has. To hear him say ma ma again.....
I lift all these praises, request, and longings to you. I love you and can't wait to see you work!
Love in Jesus name...Amen