Not Forgotten!

I know it may seem like I have forgotten about Ellie these past few weeks.

I haven't!

I admit I have been focused on getting Jonas home and now adjusting to him being home. BUT, Ellie is always on my mind! We all miss her like crazy! We talk about her constantly. And talking about her brings hurt. Hurt that she had to be left behind. Hurt that we don't know when her process in Haiti will begin. We have all the needed papers to enter her file into IBESR (social services), but no explanation as to why it isn't there yet.

Plainly put, it hurts to much sometimes to talk about it. So forgive me for not posting about her lately. Thru my prayers I know the Lord has been encouraging me to continue to talk about and share about her. So at his urging I am now sharing.

When Todd went to Haiti to bring Jonas home, he sat down with Ellie and Reggie (the English teacher for the kids) to explain to her what was happening. He said she was really quiet, but when Reggie asked her if she understood she nodded yes. After that she clung to Todd the whole time.

I think she is a brave little girl! She has already faced so much in her 3 short years of life. She was brought to the O and lost everything she knew was familiar to her. She then is taken in by a family and instantly has a little brother that checks on her everyday. And then that brother is leaving to go to a place called home with this family that says they love her. Now she is alone again. I understand she still has the other kids, the nannies, and the unending groups of people who come to volunteer. But it isn't the same. There is something very special about a family's love. It touches places in our soul that nothing else can.

So I think my little girl is very brave to face this unique situation. And even though I am THRILLED at having Jonas home, there is still an empty place in my heart, at the table, on my lap, in everything we do. I know it may be hard to understand, it is a constant push and pull feeling. I am excited with having Jonas home and in the next thought sadness that Ellie isn't here. It can be draining at times.

We Skyped with Ellie this past Saturday. It was a 3 ring circus! She was asleep when we called. Megan offered for us to call back later. But as we explained to her we had gone to the library to have a good connection and we would not be able to do it later. So they woke her up.

She didn't say a word.

This upset Todd, who could only remember how much she cried the morning he left to come home. So he walked away. The girls were stepping all over each other to try and see themselves in the video picture box. Jonas and I sat there trying to talk to Ellie. It was utter ciaos!!!!! And poor Ellie and Megan sat on the other end and just watched it all and heard all the arguing and fussing.

We ended the call early. I simply ran out of things to say. How awful is that?????

I was furious after the call ended!!!! Ellie is in Haiti and she gets 30 minutes with us. And it has to last her who knows how long till we can see each other again!!!! Couldn't everybody just suck it up for her??????

It is difficult finding a balance between love, guilt, and sadness.

We are praying her process doesn't take as long as Jonas' did. But we are dealing with Haiti you say? Yes, this is true. But God is bigger than Haiti! :)

So, just know there isn't a day that goes by that we don't think about her, or pray for her!

(the pictures are from our Skype call)

I am praying to you because I know you will answer, O God. Bend down and listen as I pray.
~ Psalm 17:6, NLT

Hugs, KRistina