Praising...not begging!

I recently got an email that reminded me I wanted to do this post. It's about a message I got from the Lord 2 Sundays ago. I was minding my own business, singing praise and worship songs when all of the sudden every sound is gone and you hear him speak. Now, I'm not saying I heard a loud audible voice. I mean it is a thought so strong and persistent you know it comes from somewhere else.

In the past couple of months during our praise and worship time in church I have in my thoughts prayed for God to bring Jonas home, as well as the other children at Three Angels. It is crazy how our brains work. I can sing and pray at the same time!

Well, 2 weeks ago I heard, "Kristina, STOP begging and start praising me for your adoptions!"

HUH?

But I thought I was suppose to bring to you all my cares and needs?

Again I heard, "Kristina, STOP begging and start praising me for your adoptions!"

Hmmmmm....

OK. I knew this was the Lord speaking to me. So what was he trying to teach me? (I know these kinds of messages always have a lesson behind them.)

I started praising, which in church is easy, right? Surrounded by fellow believers, great music, inspiring messages? But what about when you are alone? When your in that dark place of fear, rejection, the unknown? Can you still praise?

I think for me it was a heart issue and that is what God wanted to change for me. Begging him was putting me into a state of depression. Praising him takes my eyes off of me and my situation and puts them on him , the Lord most high, who created heaven and earth, and who is more than capable of handling our adoption processes!

Now praising him was not easy. I know that sounds crazy! Every cell in my body wanted to scream out. "PLEASE God just make it happen! Bring Jonas home!" And I had to have self control and say instead, "God, thank you for working even when I can't see it. Thank you for getting his file out in time. Thank you for the care he receives. Thank you for bringing him to our family." (and the list goes on)

Now you need to know there were many days my words were praising but my heart was aching and with tears running down my face I was praising not begging God.
Praising in the midst of pain, fear, overwhelming emotions is not easy and down right UGLY! But it works. I find I am not depressed about the fate of Jonas' homecoming. And I don't fear the unknown. I hope that in those times that it was a struggle to praise, God saw my heart and will honor my obedience.

Will Jonas be home for Christmas? We are praising it so. God will let us know. But either way I am learning how to praise God!

Hugs, Kristina